Why is it that the open white space of a blank page just waiting for you to empty the contents of your mind upon it, can be one of the scariest things in the world?
When I was a child, anything blank was my best friend. Walls and doors. Tables and chairs. Skin. My brother. And even the sand pit.
My dad would bring home butchers paper, though he was not a butcher. I use to go through reams of that old school printer paper, you know the one, with the perforated sides and holes punched out on each side, like rows of soldiers, as if it would not be around for long.
I just never seemed to be able to get enough. It was like my drug before I even knew what drugs were.
And it didn’t matter that I scribbled outside the lines. As a child I was always immersing myself in new worlds. Anything I wanted I drew. Any story needing to be told, was told.
The Blank Page was a door to another world. One I could not wait to open.
Then all of a sudden that stopped. This white gaping void, this blank piece of paper, loomed on me like it may swallow me whole. Became something to fear. I couldn’t understand it. This pressure to create something. This pressure I put on myself. This pressure that was non existent before.
Where once I couldn’t wait to get home and immerse myself, I now felt trapped by the assumptions and expectations that I seemed to carry with me everywhere I went. I missed that feeling of being free to create whatever I wanted, less the judgement.
Every now and then something would be triggered deep within, and I would feel that creative surge re enter my life. It would take me back, like some sort of nostalgia, and I would get that feeling swelling up in my stomach that wasn’t gas, and I would go out and buy a new sketchbook and get ready to embark on a new creative venture.
But then I would go home and struggle with that page, it’s beautiful paper, it’s purity and it’s cleanliness.
I just didn’t want to wreck it. Dirty it up. Get it wrong.
I would try and fool my mind by flipping to a page somewhere in the middle, so I wouldn’t ruin the first one and still manage not to get much down. Or I would dwell over how ‘not great’ it was. And then just stop. Discouraged.
Draw a blank.
Just sit there staring at this piece of paper until my eyes glazed over and until I swear it growled “What are you staring at?” back at me.
STOP DOING WHAT INHIBITS YOU.
I became borderline obsessive, even neurotic, with the quality of my sketches and my words, with everything I laid out before me, every little nuance, like it was going to be shown to the world and critiqued on any minute part that was less than absolutely perfect.
Like the blank page was a metaphor for my life.
You know. If I didn’t get it right then I was a failure. Like it meant that much.
So I tried so hard to get it perfect first time out. Every time. I struggled. And this was my undoing.
And then there were times that I was so creatively blocked I sat there staring at the page, never getting anything down. And I would beat myself up for that too.
I needed to “Get out of my head and get out of my own way.”
GET OVER YOURSELF.
Yeah I said it. Get over yourself. And I mean it.
Come on really? Seriously? Do you really think that everything you create is going to be perfect? Every time?
I challenge you to find one person who has never made a creative mistake in their whole life. Who can create a masterpiece every time they put pen to paper or paintbrush to canvas.
It’s just not (in my not so humble opinion) possible.
So why give yourself such a goddamn hard time about it?
For every thousand marks you put down maybe only a handful will be any good. But the more you create the more the numbers will play out. Sometimes you need to get rid of the crap before the good stuff flows.
So if you’re striving for those perfect marks, that witty line or that seminal piece of literary perfection. Every. Single. Damn. Time.
Then Stop.
If Playing those notes perfectly, capturing the perfect shot, or writing brilliant content is what you seek, then push through those times when it doesn’t seem to work and find your way there. It will come. You just need to work for it. Practice it.
And more importantly, you just need to begin.
So let it go. And get on with it.
STOP THINKING.
Blonde jokes aside, the easiest way to kill a creative thought is to think about it.
Sure there are times when thinking is absolutely necessary, like when you’re being questioned about where you were last night by:
a) Your Teacher
b) Your Parents
c) Your Partner
d) A Police officer
But then there are times when you should tie up that conscious mind and whack on some gaffer tape and chuck that baby in the trunk, and let your imagination in the drivers seat.
If you have ever been heavily intoxicated or around someone who has or is, you may have experienced those moments when you run your mouth off without a second thought landing you in some deep trouble, or those times when that dare doesn’t seem such a foolish idea.
And so you run with it.
The same way you might sit down with a nicely brewed idea (aka hair brain scheme), and see where it takes you.
In theory this is great. In creativity this is even better. Pretend you have no filter, you have no inhibitions. The word ‘consequence’ does not exist. Be the town drunk, every time you sit down to create.
And if you ever find yourself sitting at your [insert favourite work area] trying to force yourself to be creative and nothing is happening, just get up and do something else. Anything else.
I mean, have you ever found yourself in the shower all ‘sudsed’ up, with no pen, no paper and all those lightning moments begin to shoot through you? Or you’re in the car stuck in traffic and all those great ideas that would not come earlier, hit you, like the semi that’s just locked it’s brakes behind you might any minute?
As soon as you stop forcing it, things flow.
In the beginning you just need to let go of the small details.
“Don’t think. Thinking is the enemy of Creativity. It’s self conscious, and anything self conscious Is lousy. You can’t try to do things. You simply must do things.” Ray Badbury
STOP COMPARING
Just like adolescent boys in gym class, most of us are constantly comparing ourselves to our peers or those we look up to. Or even just those around us.
Seriously though. Stop it. Stop it right now.
No, I mean that. (That goes for you boys as well!) Constantly comparing yourself to others can be mess us up. Always leaving us feeling like we’re falling short. Stop us from performing well.
You want to be better? Then do better. Keep working at it. Practise. Hone those skills.
The reason most people start doing what they’re doing is because of their heroes. Everyone has someone they want to be. Or be like. Often we look at them without realising that our heroes are actually our teachers. Not those who said you couldn’t. Not those who say you can’t.
But those that inspire you.
So learn from them as they learned from theirs. One day, maybe, you’ll have your own stalkers, I mean, followers.
You may never be Joss Whedon (unless of course you are Joss Whedon in which case you should totally call me) or [insert your favourite artist/musician/writer HERE] but you ‘got your own thing going on.’
So do everyone a favour and embrace that ok?