“Life is meant to be fair” is the most disempowering belief you can have.
Who says that life IS fair? It’s someone who has sold you on a lie, my friends. Don’t get me wrong. The idea of fairness is pretty intoxicating. It coaxes you like a lover you find irresistible, a promise of a sweet ecstasy soon to be delivered. However, the wool has been pulled over your eyes and because of this you fail to see the truth.
Fairness is an ideal. It’s not real. It’s merely a belief, and one that is harming you more than you can imagine.
Sure, your mother might have chastised you when you were younger to play nice with your siblings and “be fair.”
But then you grew up.
You started noticing that life isn’t fair.
The good guy doesn’t always win.
People cheat and get away with it.
The other guy makes out with more than you.
The game is rigged.
How incredibly unfair.
The idea of fairness is a victim mindset. It says, “I have no power in this circumstance and I feel victimized by it.” You’re hoping on chance, luck, and on the fact that someone else will balance the scales in your favor.
You’re mentally masturbating.
You’re probably asking me in your head, “What do you mean?” I’m glad you asked.
Mental masturbation is the act of engaging in useless yet psychologically stimulating thoughts, usually as an excuse to avoid taking constructive action.
In layman’s terms it means you’re fooling no one but yourself.
The solution to this problem is you. You are the only one who can take back your power and start changing your life for the better. You are the only one who matters.
You. You. YOU.
And it all starts with one small shift in how you perceive the idea of fairness. Hold onto your socks because I’m about to blow them sky high.
Repeat after me:
Life isn’t fair… and that’s GREAT news.
That’s right.
If life was fair we’d all be living in a communist-type world where everyone got the same lot in life no matter how much work they put in. If life was fair then that extra three hours every day practicing your craft would mean nothing because the person who didn’t get up off the couch even once would have the same skill as you. If life was fair there would be no reason to grow and improve because everyone would be the same.
Because life ISN’T fair you’re able to compete for what you want. Because life isn’t fair you can work on yourself every day and watch your skill sets turn into mastery while those who never practiced excel at mediocrity. Because life isn’t fair you’re able to cut out a better life for your children than the one you had. Because life isn’t fair you’re able to decide for yourself what you are and are not willing to do. The great German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said, “No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
And that’s the takeaway. OWN YOURSELF.
The secret to owning yourself is to create responsibility for everything that happens in your life. It’s not to assume responsibility. I said to create.
There are plenty of people in this world who are at fault for something. But ultimately they are the only ones who can take responsibility for it. Only when you do that will you have the power to change it. If it’s nobody’s responsibility then you create that responsibility unto yourself.
Now you have all the leverage. Now you are in control.
Leave behind the victim mindset of mediocrity and unmet expectations and step into and embrace the owner mindset of responsibility. It’s tough. It’s challenging. And it’s one of the most rewarding life experiences you will ever have.
Life isn’t fair. But who cares!?
You’re in full control. You create responsibility. You own yourself.
And you make a difference on YOUR terms.