They tell you to be different, but they want you to be the same.
But different to what? And the same as who?
You need to stand out, but you need to conform. You need to do it this way but you need to find your own way.
Confused yet?
I know I am and I’m writing this damn thing.
These days it’s as though the only way you are ever going to stand out is to be ‘different,’ but it’s almost like being different isn’t really being different anymore.
So then what the hell are you left with? Just yourself? Standing there in a daze, wondering which way to go and just what to do next?
Well, perfect. You know why? Because when it’s all said and one, when the shit has hit the proverbial fan and you are left without a poncho, there is only one thing that matters.
And that is, you guessed it, You.
And this right here, ladies and gentleman, is your Point of Difference.
In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different – Coco Chanel.
Not one single person on this planet has lived life the way you have. You are the sum of everything that has gone before. No one’s world has been shaped in exactly the same way as yours has. You are a combination of inspirations, perceptions and the events of your life. So, drawing on all these things means that you are already different. This is what sets you apart.
So why not just run with that?
Yet still, maybe you try and act ‘different’ for the sake of ‘being different.’
But why?
It’s pointless and meaningless to TRY to be different, when different is what you already are. Because when you’re not being yourself, when you’re acting – and no your life is not a Movie of the Week special – sooner or later you’re going to come undone. They’ll know you’re a fraud. That it’s all a facade. You’ll become the next Milli Vanilli, and no you won’t be able to blame it on the rain.
So how do you be different, and what the fuck does being different actually mean?
Know Thyself
Maybe in high school you tried to fit in, change who you were or you just needed to explore things to figure it all out. Maybe you got that perm or wore those ripped jeans and discovered that not long after so did everyone else.
And so you tried something else. Or you resigned to being the same.
Who we are – what we want – changes, manifests. We evolve. And luckily, sooner or later, we realise that mullets look good on no one.
The thing is, are you exploring? Are you figuring it all out or are you hiding away because you are too scared what people will think of you if you showed your real (not naked) self to the world? Do you hide behind a mask, try to make yourself ‘different’ because in some ways you believe that you will at once be accepted and at once stand out? Or have you fallen victim to the ‘this is how to be different’ philosophy, doing everything but be your true authentic self in order to stand out? Differentiate yourself?
Sometimes we get so lost in being the same – or being different – we lose who we really are. We forget that being ourselves is choosing in the moment to do what it is you want to do, rather than ‘I have to be this way because it will be different to everyone else.’
We forget that being different doesn’t always mean wearing ‘different’ clothes or dying your hair crazy colours or getting pierced or wearing bedazzled vests.
It means doing things your own way. Because at the end of the day it’s your voice that matters. And the only true way to be different, is to be you.
If you are going to dare to be different. Dare to be yourself.
Hey, you know, I get it. I understand that some of you just want to be different. You place great value on not being the same as everyone else. All you really want to do is stand out, do anything to be unique.
But aren’t you really just saying, that what you want, is to be yourself?
And wanting to be yourself, and wanting to be different means that you wish other people would just be themselves too. And though sometimes it’s frustrating when someone tries to be you, do the things you do, shouldn’t you forge ahead regardless, knowing that you are the true version, and not some carbon copy?
Not some fucking second rate replica?
Creative Difference
Being different, being creative, is not about copying others that you feel are different.
Creativity doesn’t mean you need to be eccentric. Creativity isn’t borne from kook. It’s innate in all of us, whether you struggle with it or not. It comes from your unique point of view. Nourish that and innovation will follow. It’s the only way your own creativity will thrive. The only way you’ll stand out. Be different.
But in order to find your own creative difference, you have to face yourself. If you’re not looking within, if your gaze is not first to the mirror, then everything else will fall flat. You’ll just become a cheap replica.
I don’t care who inspires you, or where you get your ideas from. It’s how you choose to express yourself that matters. Be yourself. Be different. That’s it.
Seriously, you’re doing the world a disservice to try and be anything other than who you really are. To not let your true self flourish, your creative vision out into the world, means that everyone else misses out. And once you’re gone, you’re…gone.
To be forgotten, because you tired to be something other than you are, is heartbreaking.
The thing is – everyone is different. However, not everyone has the balls to be their true creative self.
Do you?