This is a true account of the glorious battle of salesperson versus mindset versus leaderboard that took place on Day 3 of Strategic Anarchy’s Sales Dominance event held in Melbourne on Monday the 25th Day of August on the year of our Sales Warlord, 2014.
There was excitement in the room as the Sales Warlord, Gulliver Giles, called his men (and women) to assemble.
The troops stood and mentally prepared themselves for the onslaught ahead.
As the warlord paces the stage, he offers his final words of encouragement. He reminds his sales warriors of everything they now know, everything he has taught them over the previous two days:
- The Identity Cornerstone
- The Personality Principle
- The New Sales Pyramid
- The Warlord’s Sales Creed
- The Armour of God Technique, plus his secret weapon,
- The Unstoppable Sales Scripting Manifesto
He also reminds them of the sparring training they have successfully completed with such exercises as:
- War & Peace,
- The Viking Quest, and
- Smackdown.
They are primed and ready. And now, as happens before every significant battle in history, it’s time for the big war rally.
“Sales warriors! It is time to gather your weapons; it is time to put your new skills to the test. Your weapons are sharp, your armour is strong. You will be victorious. Are you ready?”.
The troops make a muted murmur of agreement.
“I said. ARE YOU READY?”
The army raises their excited faces as one and they all cry. “YES!!”
“Now ready yourself and take your places.”
The warriors don their Armour of God and move to their tables with determined steps. These tables will be their base camp. And, in a few short minutes, it will be their battle ground.
The Warlord assigns a member of his Sales Dominance elite to each camp. They will be the warrior’s drill sergeant. They are pledged with keeping their warriors strong and victorious. They will also award medals of honour and distribute the spoils of war to worthy participants; the most desirable spoil of war being a trip to Las Vegas to attend the American Sales Dominance event in October.
The rules of battle.
Finally, as the crowd settles, the Sales Warlord announces the rules of battle, “The first rule is, you must sell, by phone. The second rule is if there’s no money down, if you don’t SEE confirmation that money has been sent to your account, then your sale doesn’t count. Get the cash, get the sale. Now let’s battle. Raaaah!”.
And the countdown begins.
5, 4…
Papers rustle as the warriors frantically shuffle their call lists.
3, 2, 1…
The room goes deathly silent except for nervous click, click click of pens.
ATTACK!
And the Sales Dominance troops are off.
Or, are they?
At first nothing happens. Only a murmur as each soldier takes a breath and shifts their newly built sales muscles.
And then.
ROAR!
10am (80db): The volume goes through the roof as every single soldier enters the fray to test their sales scripts on their unsuspecting leads.
Every single soldier?
Perhaps not. Upon a closer inspection of the sales horde, a few unseasoned soldiers have panicked at the last minute and baulked at the command to attack.
They are filled with fear. A few are planning to desert. They are petrified at the prospect of… prospects. They have lost their nerve.
Enter the Warlord who had some stern words of encouragement.
“This is what you came for. This is the beast you know you must slay. When this battle is done, you will laugh in the face of fear. This I promise you. Now, into the fray!”
The Amazon who wears her fear as a smile.
One Amazon refuses to admit defeat but tears of panic are glistening on her cheek. She wears her fear as a smile, but, she is here to battle. After a focussing word from her drill sergeant she makes her first call. And then her second. Later her tight smile would become real, her berserker smile that would strike fear into the wallets of all who saw experienced it. She would slay many a poor excuse or reason not to buy. She would be victorious!
10.15am (78db): mobiles start ringing as intrigued leads respond to the unstoppable ‘awesome phone message’ script.
One table was holding to the home ground and defending their position. Others were spearheading into new areas of the battlefield to find higher ground. All was fair, as long as you didn’t leave the battlefield.
One young, frightened soldier creeps underneath the table to regain her strength. She was taking quick pot shots like a sniper, so we knew she would not be vanquished.
10.30am (81db): Some warriors are already in berserker mode. They are taking names, and banking dollars. Some warriors were rebuffed by the enemy but they regrouped, they were holding strong. They would endure. They would win.
Some warriors look crestfallen. In the thick of battle they’ve realised just how unprepared they are. They hadn’t done their homework. They hadn’t prepared their weapons. They’ve lost many an easy kill… and it hurts. But all is not lost. With the help of their drill sergeant, they quickly rework their attack moves and jump back into the heat of the battle.
The first hour chimes.
11am (76 db): The first hour has passed quickly and now there is a lull in the battle as the first wave of sales calls are coming to an end.
Our brave warriors takes a moment to compare battle notes, nurse wounds and plan the next wave.
The generals sense the drop in activity and call the troops back to battle. There will be no loss of momentum, for the WIN.
11.10am (85db): The next wave of attack creates new opportunities. A war whoop in the far corner of the room announces a sale, victory again! New recruit, Angelica, has broken the stand off!
11.15 (91db): It’s a frenzy of phone calls and sales. The battle is back on, the troops are reenergised. Is that the beginning of blood lust I smell?
BOOM! The experienced warrior, Tas, makes a fresh kill and gets a $65k order with $7k cash down. Woot!
11.30am (94db): Whoop! Somewhere in the battle an unblooded warrior finally makes their first kill, and screams in victory ‘yeeeeeah!’. Everyone cheers and then they turn back to their own battle. The army fights on.
Jab, parry, thrust.
11.40am (74db): Another lull. One exhausted solidier is slumped against the wall. He has already vanquished three enemies and is taking a moment to catch his breath before re-entering the fray. Most of the troops are resting on their haunches. Their moves are slower, their selling words weaker.
General Leela calls the troops to rally, “Motion creates emotion. Stand up, move, dial!”.
A warrior re-enters the battle.
Outside the room are a few shell-shocked warriors have left the battlefield for respite. A few jesters entertain themselves and have disobeyed strict orders to stay on the battlefield. Amongst them are a few resting warriors who repel the jester’s attempt at distraction, they wave them away, “Let me get this done man…”
11.45am (80db): Boom! The general, Leela Cosgrove, signals her table has just gotten a $15k order. Don is grinning.
Table 4 makes their first win, Stacey gets an order. Boom!
Shriek of laughter, someone sets her first big appointment. The hard hours of training is paying off.
The warlord watches his recruits repeating the moves they’ve been taught, and he smiles in pride. These are HIS warriors. He is pleased.
It’s high noon. Status report soldiers!
$245,000 in sales. $54k cash taken. And we’ve still got 3 hours to go!
The warriors shift under their Armour of God and pace around their tables with their mobiles at their ear.
Table 1’s first victory is a big one. A $35k order won by Steven. Shit is getting real! But shit is also getting tired! It’s been over 2 hours and there’s nearly 3 hours to go.
The Warlord spurs his sales warriors on.
“If you’re not dialling you’re not going to get through to people. If you’re not getting through to people you’re not going to make those sales. Come on warriors!”.
The warriors dig deeper.
Meanwhile, it’s time to reward some worthy warriors. Angelica wins a 10k prize, a ticket to the marketing residential for being a strong sales warrior, she’s made 4 kills now.
12.30pm (74db): The battlefield is clearing out a little, as soldiers seek respite and sustenance. Many haven’t prepared and brought their own rations. Their kill levels are dropping.
And then.
There’s our smiling-fear Amazon. Her power is palpable. She is humming with energy as she makes her 3rd appointment, it’s 3 for 3. She beams at her drill sergeant, “Isn’t it amazing how a positive outcome can change everything?”.
1pm (78db): We’ve cleared the $300k mark. Rah sales warriors, raaaaaah!
We’re in the meat grinder now.
1.30pm (73db): It’s the quietest, toughest moment of the day so far. So many weary troops are sitting down, resting, or listlessly going through their lists. They are spent.
On the other side of the room we’ve got the hardcore berserkers toughing it out, but even they’ve hit the wall. They’re tired but determined. They grind out another call, and another.
Suddenly we get yet another $35k order from Steven. Then, shortly thereafter, a few more tired hoots of success throughout the room.
Time for a shake up.
2pm (77db): It’s time for a shake up – the warlord calls one hour until the battle is over. He commands his tired troops to push hard, and for everyone to dial dial dial. Slowly but surely each battle-wearied person picks up their arms again and battles on.
Meanwhile, the under-table-hider must’ve been a quiet achiever (a ninja perhaps?), she just won a ticket to Industry Dominance… that’s a $500 value ticket. For the win!
2.55pm (83db): The energy is back. It’s the final sprint. There’s just 5 minutes to go!!
Don squeezes in a big one. It’s a $170k sale!
Paul pulls in a final $40k order.
Our early bird, Perry, gets in the last sale of the day. Was it planned? Is he a master of Sales Dominance strategy? We will never know.
It’s the final minutes, just a few crazy berserker warriors are still selling. They’re in it balls and all. they’re fighting to the last.
5…4…3…2….1.
TIME!!!
The warlord calls the battle to a close.
“It’s time to get your sales sheets in!”
The battle results are checked. This is a CRAZY number. The sales warriors have taken $666,770 in sales orders.
In. Five. Short. Hours.
When the warriors realise what they have done they scream in victory. RAAAAAR!!!
There’s a half hour break to recoup then it’s time for a war huddle. And on everyone’s mind is… who’s winning the trip to Sales Dominance in Vegas?
Well, that’s a story for another day.
Pure Gold.