Mark Twain said, “Comparison is the death of joy.”
As I reflect on this statement, I am struck by how true it is. I can think of multiple times in my own life when I’ve allowed comparison to kill my joy.
We’re tempted to compare ourselves with others in many areas of our lives: how much money we make, how smart we are, how we look, how educated we are, how successful our businesses are, how our children act, how our spouses act, what cars we drive, and on and on ad nauseam.
As entrepreneurs, unhealthy comparison is incredibly detrimental to our success, but it can often come cloaked in the subtle trappings of “evaluating the competition” or “striving to be the best we can be.” While self-evaluation can be immensely beneficial, it is a slippery slope; we can easily cross the line and fall into destructive habits of comparison.
How can you tell the difference between honest, healthy self-evaluation and the deadly comparison trap? Following are some helpful questions to ask yourself.
1) Why am I examining this situation/person/business?
Be self-aware enough to genuinely assess your motives. Are you really looking to improve, or are you just wanting to make yourself feel better? Honest self-reflection will help you steer clear of much mental angst, which can definitely come in the aftermath of an unnecessary comparison.
2) Am I comparing apples with apples?
Does the person/situation/business have any similarities to me and my circumstances? If not, I should take a step back and make sure I’m not engaging in meaningless comparison. While we can certainly learn from those in other industries and fields, we must be careful here when we’re dealing with comparison.
3) How much time do I spend thinking about this?
This is a key indicator. If I’m spending oodles of time thinking about and comparing myself with someone else’s situation, I’m likely missing the learning curve that could possibly occur. Healthy evaluation does not become a time sink.
4) Am I staying true to myself?
A healthy scenario looks like this: I can measure my performance against that of someone else, take note of the things that person does to foster his or her success, and then walk away with action steps that fit with my vision for and mission in life. It’s a sad day when I lose my own identity as a result of comparison.
5) Do I feel joy?
This last tip is perhaps the most important. Revisiting the quote from the beginning of this article: “Comparison is the death of joy,” we see a key benchmark for determining whether we are engaging in positive learning or negative comparison: the presence or absence of joy. Absence of joy is a huge red flag.
We all have things to contribute. Your entrepreneurial effort is different from that of your friend. Yet both are equally valuable, and both can make the world a better place.
Find your niche, own it, and don’t be afraid to laugh in the face of comparison.