How to Wake Up in the Morning Feeling Like P.Diddy

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It’s been years since Ke$ha graced our ear drums and made ripped jeans cool, but no matter how many times ‘Tik Tok’ pops up on a cheeky iPod shuffle, I can’t help but scream to the DJ don’t stop, make it pop, (and) blow my speakers up, tonight imma’ fight til I see the sun – ok that’s enough.  But honestly, this rock angel had me hooked within the first 10 seconds of her classic party track.

I mean the girl woke up feeling like P.Diddy! If that isn’t Nobel-prize worthy I don’t know what is.

So as I try to ascertain the precise ingredients necessary for a boss wake-up call, I have improvised and created my own special muffin-mix of the matter. So, if like me, you want to be able to bounce out of bed before the 8th snooze button, with enough enthusiasm to make even Hitler smile, then peruse over my list and let me know how you go.

1. Twerk that alarm.

Did I say twerk? I meant tweak. And by tweak I mean place that iPhone/all-in-one Polar watch/cute Hello Kitty clock/whatever unique alarm system you prefer: out of man’s reach.

Place that alarm yielding contraption VERY FAR AWAY – to the other side of your bed in fact. Make sure you actually have to move, to turn that bad boy off! Like, me, you probably have your passcode memorized to a point that you actually sleep fiddle your way out of an Apple alarm tone, and instead, find yourself waking up to the shakes of your mum saying, “Weren’t you leaving at 7am?”. Yes Mum, I was. YIKES!

2. Get started with a good thing.

Maybe the reason bed is so much more comfortable in the morning, is that the offer to remain engulfed in my sheets dreaming of Ryan Gosling, is far more attractive (pun intended) than leeching on my gym clothes in lieu of another excruciating workout at the gym.

No matter how tired I am however, if I knew that waking up would mean:

a) Mama’s pancakes,

b) Opening birthday presents

c) Ryan Gosling, or

d) All of the above.

I am quite confident the alarm would be out the window and I would be up before the rooster crows – by my own accord.

My discovery: WAKE UP TO SOMETHING GOOD, GREAT, FABULOUS AND EXCITING!

Unfortunately we can’t all have a birthday every day (weh!), but we sure can find something enjoyable to do upon awakening.

Could be: catching up on ‘Revenge’, playing guitar, having a stretch, enjoying a spiced chai as you watch the sunrise, writing a blog post.

Basically, do whatever floats your boat/will get you motivated to wake your ass up!

3. Smile?

In researching this whole alarm issue, many important and smart people suggested exercising first thing. I love that concept and will try really hard to brave the oncoming Australian frost in the quest for more defined abs, but if that seems a bit too far stretched, I have another option for you.

This might be a surprise. You may think I am retarded after this. But here goes.

Just smile.

Now before you smile and laugh (that was easy wasn’t it?), let me tell you, that your goofy head has over 50 muscles and just about ALL of them are contracted when you give a cheeky grin.

WORKOUT DONE!

4. Stretch.

This is pretty self-explanatory.

Make those bodies sing!

5. Drink something!

One of my best friends swears by warm lemon water in the morning, and I’m pretty sure Kim Kardashian adds some weird spiced beverage into her morning routine too.

But honestly, plain old, delicious water will probably do the trick too. Just make sure you get SOMETHING into you!

After 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, or 10 hours sleep, your body is beyond dehydrated, so some liquid in there should get the engine running.

My trick: Hide a cheeky, filled water bottle next to your bed. Thank me later.

6. Feed the mind.

Get inspired, cultured and immersed – read a book!

Take advantage of the imaginations of the talented writers of the world, let them take you by the hand and drop you into some fantasy or factual event, and ride it!

10 pages a day is what my sister is aiming at the Read-a-thon, so if your smarter than a 6th grader (or not) a simple 10-page digest is perfect.

Remember: this is 10 pages more than the old-you, and anyone else.

7. Be grateful.

It’s clichéd, but I love it: be grateful!

Are you in a comfy bed? Do you even have a bed? Are there clean sheets and silence for you to rest in? Is there food in the cupboard for breakfast, and a safe environment to wake up to? Do you have the opportunity to go to school or university, or a stable position in a job?

Are you alive?

Think about everything you are blessed with, and just be an incy-wincy-teeny-weeny bit appreciative of this new day.

More than that, be enchanted by what it may hold.

So there you have it. Watch out P.Diddy!

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