How to Fail Forward

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I loved taking tests as a kid. Math, science, history, spelling—the subject didn’t matter to me; I just loved taking tests. That’s crazy, you’re probably saying! Why would someone like to take tests?

Lest you think I was some sort of prodigy who fiercely loved learning, let me set the record straight: I loved taking tests because I was good at taking tests (but not necessarily at genuine learning). I got a huge thrill out of acing test after test after test in my younger years.

In fact, I got a thrill out of succeeding in general. Academics, music, sports—I excelled at multiple things. If I tackled something, I intended to conquer it, and quickly. I started to believe (though never admitting this out loud!) that anything I touched would be successful.

I scorned failure, for I didn’t experience it in any significant way in my formative years.

You’re probably thinking about the critical error in this type of thinking, and you’re absolutely right. My first taste of significant (to me) failure occurred when I was in high school. I played the flute quite competitively and decided to audition for a coveted spot in the youth orchestra in my city. I practiced for hours, days, weeks—I was convinced this opportunity was mine for the taking.

You can guess what happened.

I didn’t get the spot. I was totally devastated. Why?

Because I’d never learned how to fail. More importantly:

I’d never learned how to turn individual failures into life lessons leading to future success.

That audition was one of my first big failures, but it was not the last. Though I’ve struggled to embrace my failures over the years, I’ve come to wholeheartedly believe that failure can be one of our greatest catalysts to success.

We all fail at times. This is a given. So how can we use our failures to propel us onward and upward?

1. Acknowledge that failure is going to happen sometimes. This acknowledgement is not a justification for laziness or for giving up. But simply acknowledging that failure will occur at some point in our lives frees us to live with more abandon—an attitude that often leads to greater success in many ways.

2. Recognize that failure can be the best teacher. I know this from my own life, and I see it played out in the lives of my children. How do we best learn things? By experiencing them, of course. My son’s poor grades on a report card can urge him to do better (especially if I stay out of the way!) in the same way a failed business idea can prompt me to rethink how I want to do things in the future. Our own failures bring much, much more clarity to the situations we face than any amount of advice from someone else.

3. Believe that identity is not defined by failure. I believe this is one reason why I shied away from failure so much in my younger years. I falsely believed that, if I failed, I was then a FAILURE. This faulty logic did me much harm then and still haunts me today as an adult. Our identities as entrepreneurs are not defined by whether or not we succeed at particular tasks. Failure can teach us and guide us, but it cannot define us.

Making your mistakes work for you requires a shift in perspective, but it is a shift that is well worth the effort. Here are some questions you can ask yourself the next time you miss the mark:

What decisions led me to this moment?

Are there any things I would do differently, knowing what I know now?

How can I use this in the future to make my life better?

Embrace your failures. Sometimes they’re exactly what you need for success.

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